I'm at a bit of a loss. I'm obviously a very irritable person and don't cope well with people who overreact or whine a lot or are being extremely illogical. Well guess what. That would be my daughter. So how on earth am I going to handle this!?
For right now, when Bella is throwing a tantrum I tend to talk to her and tell her that everything is ok and there's no need to cry. As if that does any good... I have been thinking of other ways to handle this to nip it in the butt. I'm not going to be very sympathetic to her if she's crying for a ridiculous reason when I have a newborn who's crying for a very good reason. This is definitely a difficult task because Bella is so young. She understands crying gets her things but she doesn't understand that crying isn't the only answer to not getting what you want. I know that eventually she should be able to, but I'm sure we're still a little ways off from that.
That leaves the question of what to do. The only good thing I can think of is to set her in her crib and let her work out her anger on her own when nothing else will fix the problem. Sometimes kids cry for no reason. We've all heard it. But as they get older, you have to have some kind of solution! And I don't care what you say about crying it out. It seems to me that sometimes, that's just the way it works. Your kiddo wants to cry and there is nothing you can do about it. So, instead of getting frustrated that she won't stop crying, I just set Bella down and walk away for a couple of minutes. If she doesn't stop crying, then I can come back when I'm better composed again and try to soothe her some more. Its not going to help her if I'm sending off vibes of anger and frustration.
I don't know if its gonna work, but eventually somethings gotta give. To maintain my sanity and hopefully help Bella get past this tantrum phase, I'm going to work on finding ways to communicate to her that tantrums aren't the answer. I'm sure one day, when she's a bit older and starting to understand concepts more than just words, it will make sense to her. At least that's the hope :).
About Me
- klcalder
- Mom and wife is what they call me now. I'm a little odd, or at least I think so. My goal in life is to have as much fun as I possibly can with my husband and kids. They can make that goal pretty easy.
4 comments:
I started standing a few feet from Evelyn and holding my arms out. She has to stand up and walk to me to get held, and generally in that time span she forgets that she was upset. It's the only tool I've got and it only works some of the time.
I have often had many of the same thoughts. Maddie isn't really to that age yet but I know it's coming. My husband is a fan of the Ferber method-just let them cry. I can't do it, I feel like babies cry for a reason. Even if she is just bored or frustrated or stressed she really only has crying as way to relieve that. I also think there is a time and place for letting them cry it out. As a new mom I know there are times I have to set her in her crib and take a few minutes to regroup and then it's all good. Speaking baby is not easy! Every mom and child figures out what works best for them and that's what you should stick with. I think you do a great job with Bella!
This may be difficult to implement, but have you thought about trying to teach her baby signs? From what I recall she doesn't have a whole lot of words in her vocabulary at this time, but she is not short on thought processes. If she learns some signs, maybe she'll be able to communicate with you and tell you why she is upset.
I know that it's probably not the best idea, but it's the only thing that comes to my mind.
:) Baby signing would be great. But I'm sure it is hard to implement. I don't know if she'd have the attention span to learn it. Which is contrary to her tantrums, because when she throws a tantrum, NOTHING stops her. Its ridiculous! When you find something that does work, it doesn't always work, just like Elleanne said. Which is why patience is so important when you have kids. You have to adapt because there is NO garauntee that they will :).
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