You're gonna run out of problems soon, right?

Sometimes I question whether we should have had a child at all.  I know it sounds terrible, but I feel like Bella has just had a miserable time.  Nothing seems to go her way.  First, we had a week in the NICU due to sugar levels and possible bowel obstruction.  OK, we got through it.  Two and a half months later, she develops a food "allergy", or more her digestive system doesn't develop at the proper rate to handle regular breast milk or formula.  We got through that, too.  At four months, she stops gaining weight.  We figured out the food problems, and we got through it.  Six months, delayed physical development.  We aren't out of the woods yet, but we work on it everyday.  Also at six months, "Oh hey mom!  I hate solids.  I'm only gonna eat this disgusting formula."  Again, we're working on it.

Well, now we've made it to nine months old and I was pleased that my sanity is still in tact, mostly.  Obviously, that wasn't meant to last.  Now, after 7 months of rapid growth, Bella's head circumference has gone from being in the 5-20th percentile to being in the 97th percentile.  While initially I thought that this was just weird that her head had grown so fast, I quickly came to terms with what it really could mean.  It helped that our doc mentioned that she would need an MRI, so this could possibly be a very serious thing.  To give you an idea of the rapid growth, here's the percentiles she has been in for head circumference at each well baby visit:
Birth: 13%
2 months: 1.7% (no clue what happened there)
4 months: 56%
6 months: 79.7%
9 months: 97%

I could care less if Bella has a big head, that's not a big deal.  But it isn't the fact that her head is large that concerns her doctor, it's the fact that it has gone up 80% since birth.  Normally, a child's growth in any respect (height, weight, or head circumference) will grow at a curve and stay relatively close to the same percentile range.  I was always around the 50th percentile as a baby.  My niece's head has always been 75% or more.  So, having a growth like this is slightly alarming.  Alarming enough to run tests.

At first, I thought that I wasn't worried about the MRI itself.  I was more concerned about the fact that Bella will need to be sedated.  Getting anesthesia is always a scary business, because you can't be sure if there will be no problems.  Then I started thinking more about the implications of what this rapid growth could mean.  There's always a chance that its just an odd occurrence and nothing is wrong.  Steve's head is big, so it wouldn't be a surprise for her to have a large head.  However, we don't really know how fast his head grew or if he just always had a larger head. 

After browsing the internet for possible answers, I found a few articles that suggest a rapid growth like hers could be an early indicator of autism.  Not many studies have been conducted on this topic yet, but the results of the ones that have occurred have shown a correlation between the two.  OK, this I can cope with.  I know that it wouldn't be easy, but it would sure be a welcomed alternative to my other guess: a tumor.  To me, a tumor could fit this.  Bella has now shown an accelerated head growth.   She also has a history of delayed motor skills.  I don't think that her cognitive skills are behind, but I suppose you can never really be sure as they are less easy to detect than the physical skills.  Now, none of these things are direct signs that she could have a tumor, thankfully, but none of them help rule it out. 

Unfortunately, I get to stew on these thoughts and concerns for at least another 2 weeks, probably more.  I will hopefully get a call later today with a scheduled MRI, then I can look forward to waiting another week or so after that until we get the results back.  I've learned over the past few months, that you can't take anything for granted.  You are never guaranteed an easy ride in anything.  If you don't have any problems, then that's wonderful!  If you do, take it a day at a time.  Don't expect anything, because nothing is set in stone.  The best you can do is know what can happen and hope for the best.

Rich words coming from me....I'm finding it very difficult to stay positive anymore.