Do you remember coming home?

Watching baby shows always gets me thinking.  Today, my thoughts are going towards coming home with your new baby.  From what I can remember, Bella's homecoming was actually somewhat quiet.  We were excited to take her home, don't get me wrong.  I think that we were just so relieved that she was well enough to go home and tired from the first week of going back and forth from the hospital that it was a subdued excitement.  Once we got home, I don't remember being scared or at a loss of what to do.  It was as if we just did what we always did.  Whenever Bella was unhappy, she'd be fed and changed then she fell back asleep and we resumed what we were doing.  So many parents talk about the anticipation and being in awe of their little bundle that coming home becomes a bit of a shock, but I just don't remember that.

It makes me wonder how things will be this time around.  Will we have another week of back and forth to the hospital when Jude is born?  Will I be at a loss for what to do if he's perfectly healthy and stays in my room with me?  Can I cope with having 2 kids to keep up with?  I think of all of the questions floating around in my head, the last is what worries me the most.  I can cope with the late nights, having Jude in my room right away, and I can even cope with another stint in the NICU.  However, juggling 2 kids scares the crap out of me.

My biggest worry is that Bella is already accustomed to things being her way.  With a little brother, that will start to change.  The thing I keep reminding myself of is that newborns don't actually require that much attention.  When you compare a toddler to a newborn, one is up all the time and active and the other sleeps 2/3 of the day and can't move very much.  But when a newborn needs something, they need it right then.  If Jude has to eat, Bella has to take a backseat for a little while so mommy can feed her brother.  Bella is able to play on her own sometimes, but again, she loves attention and is used to things being her way. 

Other than that, I honestly don't see what is so scary about bringing a newborn home.  If I'm gonna be scared at all, it would be the moment your child is born.  Whether you're in the hospital or at home, that baby is now your responsibility and yours alone.  The hospital just makes sure that no one steals your kiddo, you actually get to take care of him/her.  If I had to guess, for myself anyway, being in the NICU for the first week gave me a lot of time to work with nurses and talk about what it takes to take care of this baby.  I also saw what it takes to take care of an infant with special needs.  So many of the other children in the NICU had serious problems and it made me realize just how lucky we were that Bella was going to be just fine with little need for extra help.  After all of that, coming home seemed pretty minuscule on the scare charts.

Now, after a month or so, all of that changed.....my doctor's nurse and I talk A LOT.  I suppose it just took a while for my paranoia to kick back in :).  I'll find out soon enough if that paranoia is going to stick around or if Jude will have a much more relaxed mommy.  Here's hoping for the latter!